It's Official

I'm officially a member of a dating website - photo and all. Me being the slightly paranoid person that I am ... "What if someone I know sees me online?" "What if someone on the site recognizes me in public?" ... too many what-ifs really made me not want to put up a photo. I was told though that if I wanted to get any bites I'd have to put up something so that men didn't think I was obese or ugly. That makes sense given that men are more visual than women. I say that all the while admitting that when browsing the site I'm thinking "Wow, he's really cute!"

Now I should mention that I'm Latin and my preference has always been Caucasian men. I don't know why, it just is. In high school I was interested in two maybe three Latin men at most - the rest were Caucasian. I also tend to like to stick to about my same age. My ex-husband was only 5 years older and I was okay with that. Since I've been divorced I seem to attract younger men. I'm all right with that since I believe I'm aging well and I look slightly younger than I really am. It also seems like the men I meet that are my age or younger are more active. I'm not trying to be stereotypical by any means, that's just been my experience so far.

Continuing on ... the first photo I decided to upload didn't really show my facial features. I thought that would be perfect so that no one would be able to recognize me. Immediately I get three messages from three different men. The first one was a little creepy-looking, a Latin guy. Right away I'm thinking this is a mistake. He seems nice - says hello and asks how I'm doing today. He was in his 40's - almost 10 years older than me, so I didn't respond.

The second guy was almost fifteen years older than me. At least his message was more interesting and he at least introduced himself and added a little humor to the message. He noted "Yes, I'm old, but I still have all my teeth." lol

The third guy was nice. He's an Indian in his late 20's. He introduced himself, told me he liked my profile, likes to travel as I do, but from his profile ... ehhh. He seemed to be the kind of person I could hang out with and have fun with, but probably not date. Yes, maybe he could surprise me and I might really like him, but again, not my preference. I'm still debating whether I should message him back just to be nice.

As I'm getting back into the swing of things at the office, I get another message from the second guy telling me he's sorry if he offended me by something he said to make me remove my photo. I upload the photo again thinking I accidentally did something to remove it. Nope, a few minutes later the photo is gone again. Apparently my photo was deleted because it wasn't a close up. Rats!! Now what am I going to do?

My dear friend and I came up with a plan. He jumped in and started searching the web for a "hot girl" I could upload. The idea was that I was going to say "I wish I was this girl in the photo" then post some other photos of myself so as to say "See, I'm not fat, or ugly and if I like you I'll privately send you some photos of the real me." As my friend searched, he found one of funniest pictures I've ever seen. Not so much that the photo is funny, but the resemblance is uncanny! If you look really closely, I have her chin, almost her same hair, and maybe even the same or similar lips. She's wearing sunglasses though so unless you know me really well, you can't really tell that that's not me in the photo. It's hilarious! Who knew I had a doppelganger out there?

I upload random girl and seconds later I get a message, then another, then another. I end up with nine for the day. One of them proceeds to tell me that I'm gorgeous and I take a great picture. lol If he only knew!

Most of the men were older than I would like or they had children. One day I might want children, but for now, I don't want any baby mama drama. After all the crap I've been through in my life, honestly, right now I would like to be somewhat of a priority. If there's a child involved that's not likely to happen.

Don't for one second think that I'm a selfish person though. I'm actually a very giving person if you mean something to me. I will go out of my way to move Heaven and earth to help you out if I can. I just feel like I deserve to be spoiled a little. I don't want to say that I had a bad marriage, it just could have been a lot better and I'd like to be courted and feel like I'm something special again. Is that too much to ask for?

Back to my story ... the most entertaining email of the evening was from a man who says ... (and I quote) "i see you a very pretty woman you must have alot of guys that want to get to know you so i wont try." Seriously?? That's the line you're going to go with? I realize that perhaps you're trying to play some sort of sympathy card, but that doesn't fly with me! If you truly think that you're not good enough, then you probably aren't. I don't have these outrageously high standards. I would just like to meet someone that looks somewhat normal and doesn't creep me out by their photos. Chances are if I'm weirded out by the photos you take, seeing you in person isn't going to be that much better!

As it's been a very busy day, I'll have to sift through and maybe reply to some of these people tomorrow.